Trying To Run Away
by Chloe Walker
Summary: Holly tries to leave Holby, without telling anyone or giving a reason. But Patrick won't let her get away that easily.


Holly dragged her suitcase onto the train. She sat down and 10 minutes later it pulled away from  
  
the station. Holly couldn't believe that she was doing this, running away from the man that she  
  
loved was stupid but she didn't want to pressure him, she really didn't think that he was ready  
  
for any kind of commitment. This was Patrick Spiller she was thinking about and he wasn't the  
  
sort of person who would put up with sleepless nights and dirty nappies, it would be better off  
  
if she left now. Hopefully it would be better for them both, well the three of them in the long  
  
run.  
  
Holly couldn't believe the mess she'd gotten into. If anyone would have told her last year, if  
  
anyone told her three months ago that she'd be pregnant she would have told them they were mad.  
  
If they told her that the baby would be Patrick's she would have certainly been onto psych!  
  
She sat back and closed her eyes wondering how the hell she had ended up here.  
  
* * *  
  
The night that Tom Harvey had tried to kill Holly Patrick had saved her life. If that wasn't  
  
enough he then took the week off work and invited her to stay with him for as long as she needed.  
  
The next day Patrick didn't leave Holly's side for longer than two minutes. He was at her beck  
  
and call all day. That night Patrick had been asleep on the sofa when he heard Holly crying.  
  
She remembered looking up at him and she just wanted to feel his arms around her. He sat down  
  
on the bed and wrapped his arms around her. After about twenty minutes she's calmed down.  
  
"Are you OK?" He asked quietly.  
  
"Yeah it was just a nightmare. It was about Tom. Did I wake you?"  
  
"No…err…I was awake anyway." Holly knew he was lying to make her feel better.  
  
"God I must look awful."  
  
"You look beautiful, you always do."  
  
"You are such a liar, but thanks anyway." Holly looked up into Patrick's eyes and reached up and  
  
kissed him. Everything just seemed so right, it was all so familiar and this was something Holly  
  
had wanted and hoped for for such a long time. One thing led to another and the next morning  
  
Holly found herself waking up next to Patrick with his arms wrapped around her. Holly couldn't  
  
believe what had happened. Suddenly the full force hit her. Obviously Patrick had only slept  
  
with her because he felt sorry for her. She was a physical and emotional wreck; there was no  
  
way Patrick could actually find her attractive. Holly decided that she had to make sure that  
  
this didn't happen again. It wasn't' fair on her and it wasn't fair on Patrick.  
  
She didn't mention that night again but it didn't stop her thinking about it. When her period  
  
was late she had tried to stay calm and blamed it on the stress of the last month. Eventually  
  
she had to give in and do the test. When the colour changed she burst into tears. She knew she  
  
should tell Patrick but couldn't. In the end she gave in and did what she knew she shouldn't,  
  
she ran away.  
  
* * *  
  
Now she was sitting on the train on the way to her parents. She knew that they wouldn't be happy  
  
when they found out she was pregnant. If they found out it was Patrick's, and they would, she  
  
knew what they would say. Her mum would be over the moon; she'd always got on well with Patrick.  
  
She'd be so pissed off with Holly for not telling him. Her dad was never sure about Patrick but  
  
he'd probably call him every name under the sun. But she was sure that no matter what they would  
  
support her.  
  
The train pulled into the station and Holly got off. She spotted her dad on the platform and  
  
hugged him.  
  
"Hello darling."  
  
"Hello dad"  
  
"Its been so long since you were last here."  
  
They walked to the car and began the short journey home.  
  
"Wheres mum?"  
  
"Shes at home, cleaning the house. Anyone would think royalty was coming! Actually I don't think  
  
she expected just you."  
  
"What do you mean?" Holly asked knowing full well what was coming.  
  
"I think she thought you might be bringing that Patrick bloke."  
  
"Well shes wrong, I'm not seeing him end of discussion!"  
  
"Sorry Holly, I was just warning you."  
  
"I didn't mean to shout at you dad, sorry."  
  
They pulled up outside they house. When just Holly and her dad walked in Holly saw the disappointment  
  
on her mums face.  
  
"Sorry mum, its just me!"  
  
"I don't know what you mean. Its so good to see you again!" Her mum said as they hugged.  
  
Later Holly went up to her old room and unpacked. She sat on the bed and wondered how to tell her  
  
parents. She wanted to tell them tonight. She went down into the living room. As she sat down  
  
on the sofa she noticed that her mum still had the photo of Holly and Patrick from her med-school  
  
ball. Holly had always loved that photo but now looking at it just made her feel sick.  
  
"Holly love, dinner." Her mum called from the kitchen.  
  
Holly took a deep breath, knowing that this wasn't going to be an easy dinner.  
  
She walked in and sat down.  
  
The three of them talked for a while and then there was a gap in the conversation.  
  
"Mum, dad theres something I need to tell you."  
  
"Is this about Patrick?" Her mum asked.  
  
"No, get over it, we're not together!" Holly snapped.  
  
"Sorry darling."  
  
"Anyway, theres no easy way to say this but...well...I'm pregnant."  
  
"What the...!" Her dad exclaimed.  
  
"Dad! I'm sorry but I thought that you should know."  
  
"Whos is it?"  
  
"No-one important, it was just a mistake." Holly felt terrible lying to her parents.  
  
"Holly I'm your mother, I know that you're lying. You're not the sort to have one night stands."  
  
"OK, you got me. Promise me you won't jump to conclusions and this has got to stay between us."  
  
"Is he married?" Her dad asked.  
  
"No!"  
  
"I had to ask."  
  
"Its nothing like that. The father is...well the babys' Patricks."  
  
Her mum gasped. "But you said you're not together."  
  
"We're not."  
  
"But you slept together?"  
  
"It was right after the Tom Harvey thing, he felt sorry for me."  
  
"I don't think that sounds like Patrick. What did he say when you told him?"  
  
"If he left yuo I'll kill him, I never liked him the arrogant git!" Her father shouted.  
  
Holly had to laugh, her dad was so predictable.  
  
"He didn't say anything, I never gave him the chance." Holly paused. "I didn't tell him."  
  
"Holly!" Her mum said.  
  
"Mum I know that you've always liked Patrick but this wouldn't be fair on him. I don't want to  
  
force him into something he's not ready for."  
  
"How do you know he's not ready, you didn't give him a chance."  
  
"I just know what he's like, believe me he's not ready."  
  
"Are you keeping it?" Her dad asked.  
  
Holly just nodded.  
  
"Well we've got a lot to do then, we don't want to be caught out. We'll have to start decorating  
  
yhe spare room and..."  
  
Relief washed over Holly, drowning out what her dad was saying. She knew that her dad tought she  
  
would be better off without Patrick, even if it did mean being a single mum. On the other hand her  
  
mum was upset that Patrick didn't know, but Holly knew that she had their support.  
  
* * *  
  
"Holly, I'm home!" Patrick called as he walked in the door.  
  
"Hooly!" Silence. "Holly!" Patrcik walked into the kitchen. A piece of paper on the fridge door  
  
caught his eye.  
  
PATRICK  
  
I'M SORRY BUT I CAN'T STAY HERE ANYMORE.  
  
I'LL BE FINE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.  
  
LOVE  
  
HOLLY xxx  
  
Patrick couldn't believe it. Holly had just left him, went without even saying goodbye. He thought  
  
about where she could have gone. Most of her friend were in Holby but he knew she wouldn't stay here.  
  
A few friends from med-school came into his mind, but he knew she hadn't spoken to them for years  
  
she wouldn't be staying with any of them. He guessed that she must be staying with her parents.  
  
He decided to call to see what was going on. He got their number out of the drawer and dialled.  
  
"Ring ring." "Ring, ring"  
  
"Hello." Although Patrick hadn't spoken to her for a while he recognised the voice immediatly.  
  
"Hi Jan, its Patrick remember me?"  
  
"Oh...er hi."  
  
In the background Patrick heard Holly ask who it was.  
  
"No-one important" Jan told her.  
  
"Look Jan I know Hollys there. I want to speak to her."  
  
"Yes, well not at the moment."  
  
Patrick wondered why Jan was being so strange. She wasn't making any sense. He realised Holly must  
  
have told her she didn't want to speak to him.  
  
"Can you call me back, plase. Its important."  
  
"OK, I will."  
  
"Thanks. Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Patrick hung up. He'd already decided he was going to go and see Holly in person but he thought  
  
that he'd speak to Jan first to see if he could get an idea about what was going on. He sat and  
  
waited for her call.  
  
* * *  
  
Holly and her parents spent a while talking about how Holly was going to cope after the baby was born and if she was going to return to work. At half ten Holly started to yawn.  
  
"The travellings taken it out of me. I'm going to bed."  
  
"Night love."  
  
"Night mum. Night dad."  
  
Holly walked out of the front room and went upstairs.  
  
Jan turned to her husband.  
  
"Patrick called earlier, I told him I'd call him back."  
  
"Don't get involved, just leave it to Holly."  
  
"Just let me tell him shes OK, he needs to know."  
  
"OK then, just make sure you don't mentiong the baby."  
  
Jan already knew Patricks number as Holly had been staying there since the Tom incident.  
  
"Ring! Ring!"  
  
"Ring! Ring!"  
  
"Hello"  
  
"Patrick its me, Jan."  
  
"Hi, look is Holly with you?"  
  
"Yes, shes staying here and shes fine."  
  
"Why has she left? She must have told you something."  
  
"She hasn't said much, but theres no need to worry about her."  
  
"I'm coming to see her."  
  
"Patrick I don't know if thats..."  
  
"I'll be there tomorrow, don't let her know that I'm coming." Patrick cut Jan off.  
  
He hung up.  
  
Jan turned to her husband.  
  
"I think we've got a problem!"  
  
* * *  
  
Early the next morning Patrick was on the train as it pulled out of the station. He just couldn't understand what had happened with him and Holly. After they'd slept together he would have understood if she'd left, nut things had been OK. They were getting on great and now she'd just left. He didn't understand. He thought back to that night.  
  
He was asleep on the sofa when he was woken by the sound of Holly crying. He got up and walked into the room. When Patrick got there Holly was sobbing on the bed. It hurt Patrick so much to see the woman he loved so upset. He put his arms around her and comforted her for at least 20 minutes. Finally she calmed down and told Patrick that she had had a nightmare.  
  
"I didn't mean to wake you." She told him.  
  
"You didn't, I wasn't asleep." He lied.  
  
"God I must look awful."  
  
"You look beautiful, you always do." The words had come tumbling out before Patrick could stop himself. 'Not exactly a great time' he thought.  
  
"Your a liar, but thanks anyway." She looked up at him and she just looked so hurt, so upset. As she smiled at him Patrick felt his heart jump. He wanted to kiss her but knew that he shouldn't, she was too vunerable. He was about to move away but the she kissed him. Patrick was torn. He wanted this to happen so much but he knew that it wasn't right. In the end Patricks hormones had got the better of him. The next morning Patrick felt terrible he was sure Holly would think he had taken advantage of her. He knew that he couldn't let it happen again, no matter how good it had been! When Holly didn't say anything Patrick thought he'd be better off not saying a word wither.  
  
After than night Patrick promised himself that he wouldn't make any moves on Holly, until she was completly over the events of the past few months.  
  
The train pulled into the station. Patrick couldn't believe that he was doing this. He knew that Holly dodn't want to see him but he loved her and he want's going to let her go without a fight. He walsed out of the sation and got into a cab.  
  
* * *  
  
Jan had woken up early that morning, she couldn't sleep. She knew that Holly would be mad, probably furious when Patrick turned up. She knew that it was up to Holly what she did but Patrick was so nice. Jan was sure that he still loved Holly, how many other men would help their ex-girlfriends through something like this. Maybe seeing Patrick would be good for Holly, Jan just hoped that she had done the right thing.  
  
There was a knock on the door.  
  
"I'll get it!" Jan called.  
  
She opened the door and Patrick was standing there.  
  
"Hi." He said.  
  
"Patrick come in, you look cold."  
  
She led him into the living room and went to make coffee. She bought in the two cups.  
  
"Holly's upstairs, she doesn't know that your coming."  
  
They both heard footsteps on the stairs.  
  
"Mum who was at the door?" I thought I heard...  
  
Holly opened the door to the living room and froze.  
  
"What the hell is he doing here? Mum I told you that I don't..."  
  
"It wasn't her. I guessed that you'd be here. Holly calm down."  
  
"Er...I think I'm going to go into town." Jan got up.  
  
"Well you'd better say goodbye to Patrick, he won' be here when you get back."  
  
"Bye Holly, Bye Patrick." Jan left quickly.  
  
Patrick and Holly remained in slence.  
  
Holly sat down on the sofa. "What are you doing here? I told you I'd be OK."  
  
"I was worried, you just left a note."  
  
"Well its a free country, I can do what I want, when I want. I'm not coming back to Holby, I'm staying here."  
  
"Why? Come on Holly, talk to me."  
  
"I can't. Holly could feel the tears building up in her eyes. "Its nothing, I just couldn't stay with you, in Holby."  
  
"I don't understand. I thought that you were coping with the Tom thing."  
  
"I was, I am, I just...I had my reasons. Please Patrick, don't push me."  
  
"OK, its just...well I thought that maybe you and me were..." Patrick began.  
  
"Don't even go there Patrick, me and you we wouldn't work."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Patrick you don't want me, not really. Believe me you'll be better off without me."  
  
"Holly I wish that I could understand you. I thought that we were finally getting somewhere."  
  
"Well you're wrong." Holly got up and walked into the kitchen. Tears began falling down her face. She couldn't believe that she was being such a bitch towards the man she loved. She had to keep reminding herself that it was what was really best for Patrick.  
  
Meanwhile Patrick sat alone in the living room. There was something wrong with Holly, something she was hiding from him and Patrick wasn't going to leave until he knew exactly what. Patrick followed Holly into the kitchen.  
  
"Hey Hol, don't cry. What's wrong?"  
  
"It doesn't matter. Patrick please, just go back to Holby."  
  
"No. Not until you tell me whats wrong."  
  
"Patrick." Holly warned.  
  
"Look if this about that night me and you, the night we slept together."  
  
Holly spun round. "What about it?"  
  
"If your upset about it, if you feel that I took advantage of you then I'm sorry. I know that it was wrong of me. I care about you so much, I don't want to do anything to hurt you, ever."  
  
Holly didn't know what to say.  
  
"Patrick, don't feel guilty, its not that. I don't want you to feel you took advantage of me. If anything it was the other way around. I forced you into something you didn't want to do."  
  
"But I did."  
  
Holly was shocked.  
  
"No, you just felt sorry for me."  
  
"No Holly. I've wanted that to happen since I came to Holby, it just happened at the wrong time."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really. Holly you know that I think you're great and I fancy you as much as I did when we were at med-school. It's just a shame you don't feel the same."  
  
"Who said I didn't?"  
  
"You."  
  
"No, I never."  
  
"So you do?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Does that mean we can try again?" Patrick asked hopefully.  
  
"No." Holly came to her senses and remembered the baby.  
  
"I don't understand you Hol. You like me, I love you..."  
  
"Love me?" Holly interrupted. Patrick nodded.  
  
"Stop it, you're making it harder for me. We can't be together!" Holly cried.  
  
Holly ran out of the kitchen and ran upstairs crying. Patrick sat in the kitchen stunned, he didn't know how long he'd been sitting there for when he heard the front door opened. Jan walked in.  
  
"Whats wrong?" She asked softly.  
  
"I wish I knew. I told her I loved her, and I wanted us to try again."  
  
Jan smiled.  
  
"I told her that you'd be OK. She thought that you weren't ready for the responsibility of a baby but I said..."  
  
"Baby?" Patrick looked shocked. He sat down again. "What baby?"  
  
"Oh." Jan said. "I assumed she'd already told you. I think I'd better go out again." With that Jan disappeared.  
  
Patrick couldn't believe it. His head was spinning. Holly, pregnant, with his baby, with their baby. He knew he couldn't wish for more he just had to let Holly know he was ready and it was what he wanted. He calmed himself down and walked upstairs. He knocked on Hollys door.  
  
"Hi."  
  
She looked up and smiled at him. Patrick sat down next to her and put his arm round her.  
  
"Holly listen to me. I love you, do you love me?" He asked.  
  
"Patrick..."  
  
"Do you love me? Its a simple enough question."  
  
Holly looked away. "Yes I do." She whispered.  
  
"Well if we love each other then why can't we be together?"  
  
"Because we can't."  
  
"Is it because of something you're hiding from me?"  
  
Holly looked up at him. "I don;t know what you mean."  
  
"Holly I'm ready, ready to be a father to your, to our baby."  
  
"How the hell did you find out?" Holly shouted.  
  
"Your mum came home, and let it slip." Holly stood up. "Then she went out again, thought we'd want to be alone." Holly sat down again.  
  
"I can't believe that you weren't going to tell me, I don't understand what I've done to make you want to hide the fact that your having my baby."  
  
"I was scared, I didn't know how you'd react, I am really sorry Patrick."  
  
"Holly I want the three of us to be a family, I want us to be happy together. Will you marry me?"  
  
"Patrick I do love you so much but you don't want this, not really. I'm giving you a chance to get on with your life and not be tied down."  
  
"Holly I want you, i want our baby, I don't want anyone else. I can never imagine loving another woman as much as I love you."  
  
"Patrick if your just doing this because I'm pregnant then well..."  
  
While Holly was talking Patrick reached into his pocket and pulled out a little box. He handed it to Holly.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"Open it." Holly opened it and gasped. Inside was an engagement ring.  
  
"This proves that I've wanted to ask you to marry me for so long. I was just scared you didn't feel the same. As soon as I saw the ring I thought of you. Please Holly, answer me."  
  
"Are you really sure." Holly asked.  
  
"Yes" Patrick was begining to get anxious "Holly I love you."  
  
"Well then I suppose the answers yes, of course I want to marry you."  
  
Patrick took the ring out of the box and put it on Hollys finger. It was a perfect fit. Patrick put his arns around Holly and kissed his future wife.  
  
THE END 


End file.
